Divorce and Therapy

Divorce is difficult. Anyone who has been through the process can attest to that. It is one of the most life-altering events that a person can experience. While attorneys are at times referred to as "counselors of law", divorce attorneys frequently have to serve as grief counselors. While I am happy to assist my clients the best that I can, I am not a professionally trained therapist. I always recommend that clients see a professional counselor or therapist during the divorce to help them process the life changing event that they are going through. A therapist can:

• Serve as an unbiased third person that can listen to all of your issues and concerns, without passing judgment.
• Respond to your concerns in the most beneficial way
• Help you transition from one life stage to the next, and help you to see the opportunities and positive attributes that change can bring.
• Help explain to your children what is going on, without emotions clouding the issue and coloring the way in which they are informed.
• Simply be someone you talk with about the various emotions you are experiencing. Sometimes it is easier to open up to a therapist than it is to a loved one.
• Help you to stay strong during this difficult time period in your life.

How to Find a Local Therapist

If your divorce attorney suggests therapy, ask them for a referral. A good divorce attorney, in anticipation of clients' needs, should have professional affiliations with several highly skilled local therapists that can help you and your family.

If you are interested in therapy but wish to keep that information private, you can do research on your own via an internet search for therapists in your area, or by searching through the phone book. Once you've found a therapist you are interested in seeing, contact them to have any questions you may have answered. Good questions to ask might be:

• What is their fee?
• Will their services be covered by your insurance?
• What are their qualifications?
• What areas do they specialize in?
• For example, if your seeking assistance with grief and processing your divorce, you probably would not need to see a therapist who specializes in addiction.
• The qualifications to look for would be a therapist with an LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) or an MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist). Although other specialties may also be useful depending on your individual needs.

I know that some people are resistant to the idea of therapy, but you shouldn't be. Divorce is difficult. It will be beneficial to have someone that you can talk to freely about what you are experiencing - someone who is not there to judge you, but to assist you through the process. If you are going through a divorce, please consider seeing a therapist.