- Do Not Date: Just because you are separated from your spouse does not mean that it is okay to begin seeing other people. You are still legally married until the final judgement of divorce is entered in your case. Beginning a relationship with someone new is still adultery. Even though divorce proceedings have begun, and you may have a temporary order in place providing for your spouse and children, you are not yet divorced. Dating could upset your spouse, causing retaliation, a breakdown in settlement negotiations, or even revocation of an agreement - which could lead to further delay and expense for you. Wait until you are divorced before you begin dating.
- Be Careful to Avoid Condonation: In Mississippi fault grounds for divorce may be deemed "forgiven" under certain circumstances. For example, if a spouse learns that her husband has cheated, but "resumes the marital relationship", the husband's conduct is considered forgiven by the offended spouse. "Resuming the marital relationship," can be understood as engaging in sexual intercourse with your spouse after learning about and having knowledge of the transgression. Condonation destroys the offended spouse's ability to claim the fault ground - so even though your spouse may have cheated, it is unlikely you will be granted a divorce for adultery.
- Social Networking: Be very careful in regards to what you post on social media. Even though you are going through a difficult time and may feel like venting on the internet - resist that urge. Do not give your spouse any easy ammunition to use against you. We highly recommend that you deactivate you social media profiles for the duration of your divorce.
- Do Not Admit Fault: When a relationship is troubled and heading toward divorce, or already proceeding through a divorce, it is not uncommon for people to apologize or admit to fault or wrongdoing. Making conciliatory gestures can be helpful when attempting to initiate productive negotiation, but admitting to damning facts, especially in writing, can serve as self-sabotage in your case.
- Avoid Confrontation: As divorce proceedings begin, be careful to avoid confrontation. Some people will attempt to bait their spouses into bad or abusive behavior in an attempt to gain the moral high ground in the divorce. Do not take the bait. Do your best to avoid confrontation. Limit your encounters with your spouse to only those that are necessary, such as dropping off children, and consider bringing a friend with you to help keep you in line. If your spouse does try to bait you into a confrontation, do not engage, remain calm, and try to leave.
- Abuse: Some relationships are abusive. Abuse may even be the reason for divorce. Take extra care to protect yourself. Abuser's may try to use verbal or physical abuse to intimidate you into staying, or may simply seek to hurt you. Avoid all contact with you spouse, especially if you are alone. If abuse does occur, go to the doctor and tell them exactly what happened to document the event. Do not lie and protect your abuser. Call the police if you ever feel in danger.
- Change Passwords: Be sure to change your passwords to email, social media sites, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc. Many married couples tend to know each others usual passwords, and if they don't they will likely know what to guess. Changing passwords is key to securing your personal assets and private communications.
- Consider Temporary Protective Orders to Protect Vulnerable Assets: Once a marriage has deteriorated to the point where divorce may be likely, it is important to secure or protect vulnerable assets. Such assets include, joint checking or savings accounts, joint investment accounts - any asset which both parties have access to that could be cleaned out by one or the other. Whether or not such protective actions are appropriate or advisable will depend on the independent circumstances of the case. Contact a divorce attorney for assessment of the situation and for advice on protecting vulnerable assets.
- Know Your Finances: If your spouse has been the money-handler/bill-payer in the marriage, it is important that you take steps to familiarize yourself with your financial situation. Understanding the types and values of marital assets can be very helpful in your divorce, and also may key you in on any hidden assets or asset shifting that your spouse may be doing in preparation for divorce.
- Update Beneficiary Information On Future Planning Documents: You should start thinking about updating beneficiary designations on wills, living trusts, advanced healthcare directives, durable powers of attorney, insurance policies, pension plans, etc. This is advice we always give clients during the closing interview once their divorce is final, but it may be a good idea to start thinking about making these changes now. Every once and awhile a story will pop up about an ex-wife receiving life insurance money over a later wife because the husband never updated the beneficiary on the policy. Don't let that be you.
- Get a Medical Exam: It is a good idea to get a medical exam. Your health can influence support awards if health issues affect your ability to work. You should not agree to a settlement agreement until you have had a medical exam and know the state of your health.
- Do Not Lie or Withhold Information From Your Attorney: We know that it is tempting to withhold what are generally considered private details from your attorney - especially those you may consider to be embarrassing or those that would reveal fault. However it is absolutely crucial that you reveal all relevant information to the attorney and answer your attorney's questions as fully and truthfully as possible. Remember that this is a safe space and we are not here to pass judgement. Keeping information from your attorney does not protect you. Your attorney needs to know all of the facts to devise the best case strategy he can to protect your interests. You do not want your attorney to hear anything for the first time when your spouse brings it up at trial.
- Do Not Talk About Your Case: Your divorce is going to be a major part of your life for months if not years. It is only natural that you would want to talk about such a large life event. I would encourage you not to. You never know what might make it back to your spouse, especially as friendships are redefined in the wake of your divorce.
- Be Careful With Tax Returns: There are a number of tax concerns people preparing for divorce should be thinking about. Keep in mind that if you file jointly, you could be liable for your spouse filing mistakenly or fraudulently. We always advise clients to meet with a CPA or tax professional about tax concerns related to their divorce.
- Counseling: It has been said that a divorce is the most emotionally difficult event that a person will experience besides the death of a loved one. It is important that you consider seeking the assistance of a counselor to help you process your divorce. Divorce is difficult. There is no need to face it alone.
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